We were planning on having a Baby, but we have an Angel instead!!!

Hope's 3rd Birthday ~ 2008

Noon Tuesday...

We went to our beach with these three star gazer lily flowers, for you.

We walked out on the pier and before we tossed them in the Pacific Ocean...

We took a picture of all of us holding a flower, just for you.

(hover over the pictures to see others)

Love, Momma, Poppa & Sugar Bear

Hope's 4th Birthday ~ 2009

We visited you this afternoon at our usual spot!!!

~  ~

Our Pier was closed... so Plan B

We gave your flowers to this little girl statue.

Interesting... she looks to be your age!

LOVE xoxo, Momma, Poppa, Sugar & Smiles

Hope's 5th Birthday ~ 2010

We all gave you a pink rose today. It was a tad more challenging with your two little brothers.

Tossing the roses over the railing while trying to get pictures AND not let them jump over to join the surfers is funny... now that we are all home SAFE. :)

We were blessed, someone walking by offered to take a picture of us togther this year.

Happy and Sad!!! We Miss You Baby!!!  LOVE xoxo, Momma, Poppa, Sugar & Smiles

Hope's 6th Birthday ~ 2011

It sure is sweet to see your little brothers

understanding who YOU are.

Happy 6th Birthday Hope Angel

LOVE xoxo, Momma, Poppa, Sugar & Smiles

Hope's 7th Birthday ~  2012

Since her first birthday we have taken pink flowers to the Pier. One for each passing year. We walk on the Pier, say a prayer and toss the flowers into the surf.

Over the past week Sugar asked more than once, "Momma, why do we throw the flowers in the ocean?"

I explained, "The beach has always been a special place for our family. We have always spent time there. It makes us happy to be there with you and Smiles. We go there so she can always be part of our happiness. The beach is a place we can share with her."

Before we walked up to the beach we let him and Smiles choose the flowers. We had 7 Roses, 7 Gerber Daisies and 7 Carnations. They chose the Roses. After our prayer we gave the boys two Roses each, I also had two and Hubby had one. We took turns and watched as they traveled in the surf.

When we made it back to the foot of the pier... 5 roses were on the sand. That has never happened before. Sugar was so happy and I was too!!! We ran as fast as we could to the water and picked up four of them. A young girl with her father had picked up one also. The man asked if we wanted it. I asked them to please keep it.

It was symbolism for our family. The four of us left our beach yesterday and walked home with four sand covered roses.

We allowed the fifth beautiful pink rose go, even though, we really wanted to keep it. ♥

We Miss You Hope!!!! LOVE LOVE LOVE & HAPPINESS!!!

Happy 7th Birthday Sweet Beautiful Baby Girl

We LOVE You!! Momma, Poppa, Sugar & Smiles

Who is Hope Angel?

My pregnancy test was positive. It was a few days after Mother's Day in 2005. In eight months or less our first child would be born. We were ecstatic!!! Instantly, we began planning our future with a baby.

I was four months pregnant, and at the doctors office when the unimaginable happened. Less than two minutes into our routine ultrasound our Doctor diagnosed our baby with Potter's Syndrome. A rare condition that is incompatible with life and our unborn baby would die shortly after birth.

We went from elation to devastation in 30 seconds! What happened next was a mixture of extreme emotions, complete disbelief and a million questions. We've never heard of Potter Syndrome, Potters Sequence or Bilateral Renal Agenesis. Which in simple terms is the absence of kidneys.

This certainly became the most defining time in our life. We learned so much about our relationship, our family and our friends. As well as, the compassion of complete strangers who have touched us so deeply.

I will be forever grateful that I had the foresight to keep a journal from the beginning of my pregnancy, the strength to be so honest and the knowledge to publish it.

As a dedication to Hope Angel, our precious daughter, we are sharing our complete experience and hope we are able to support you through your challenges.

XO, Shawna ~ Momma of Hope

Hope Angel.... LOVE was all she ever knew!!!