Journal - September & October 2005

Monday – October 3rd

Last week Glenn and I realized my belly over the past two weeks has really grown… So we over the weekend we finally went shopping for maternity clothes. It was actually fun. We found a few shirts that really show off my curves. Wow… I really look pregnant now.

I took my Glucose test today after work. I kept the orange drink cold in my lunch bag with two ice blocks. I drank it within a few minutes and then I had to wait for one hour in the office before my blood was drawn.

Wednesday – October 5th

26 weeks

Mary came with me to my Doctors appointment. "Our Angels" heart beat is strong. What a good baby. Here are some of my questions and the answers…

Should I get a second opinion… by a Perinatologist or Neonatologist? Sure, you can get as many opinions as you would like.

Do you know Dr. Cousins? Dr. Wozniak? Yes I know Dr. Cousins and I would recommend him. I do not know Dr. Wozniak. FYI: During my research I discovered that Dr. Cousins was Voted Best Doctor by his Peers and has 35 years of Maternal Fetal Medicine.

How was my Glucose test (sugar test)? You passed with flying colors. No gestational diabetes for you.

Do you have anymore info regarding donation? The only suggestion I have is to contact San Diego Hospice. (I have no idea what this means? What is a Hospice?)

Will the Rubella Vaccination interfere with the baby’s ability to donation? I have asked this question so many times, and almost went to get the shot too... What is stopping me? (I think I am still protecting my baby.) It may… and that is why we would not give you the vaccination during a regular pregnancy. But, remember that, if you wait until after you have the baby… you will need to wait for 4 months to get pregnant again. (I am glad I did not go get this shot yet).

My next Ultrasound is scheduled on October 20th w/ Dr. Blake. Good.

Katie Holmes is pregnant with Tom Cruises baby. I'm irritated with this... Why is this in my diary? If you knew me, you would know why. Her belly is bigger than mine. What???

Monday – October 10th

27 weeks

I STILL have not been sleeping well. My legs, ears, and side ache when I sleep on one side too long. I went to the Chiropractor 3 times last week. I am going again today and again on Thursday. I was having shortness of breath and he fixed that. I have been having a weird pelvic pain. And yesterday I was in the shower and started to feel sick and sat down, then got out, and was really dizzy. I made it to the bed and felt better a few minutes later. I am peeing all night long, sometime 4 times a night 10pm – 6am. (yikes)

I also was able to get an appointment with Dr. Cousins on October 17th. Just for more info and 2nd Opinion. I guess it can’t hurt. Maybe we can get some more of our questions answered.

Saturday – October 15th

Today is Infant Loss Awareness Day. Light a candle tonight at 7 p.m. in all time zones, all over the world. If everyone lights a candle at 7 p.m. and keeps it burning for one hour, there will be a LIGHT over the entire world.

Today, I spoke to Dr. Resnik, (former) Head of Reproductive Medicine with 41 years of Maternal Fetal medicine experience. He called me while we were in Office Depot (he is a business client of my step-moms). I had so many questions for him… But, I did not have my notebook with me, it was at home. I needed to concentrate and be in a private place. I tried to remember my questions for him, but a summary of our conversation is this…

Most cases of Potter’s Syndrome are not genetic.

Potter’s Babies do look similar to non-Potter’s Babies.

Babies with developmental defects are usually are born before the due date, BUT could be full-term.

He called me as a favor and he made himself available anytime, if I had any more questions. What a nice man.

Oh one last thing. When I lay in bed and the Baby moves, I put the Beenie Baby on my belly and we watch it dance... COOL!!!!!!

Sunday – October 16th

We are going to meet Doctor Cousins tomorrow afternoon. We will write more after that consultation.

But today I have had some names floating in my head today. But I am not sharing them with anyone yet.

Monday – October 17th

We had our 1st appointment with Dr. Cousins today. All I have to say at this point is that he confirmed our Angels condition. But, we still had Faith & never gave up on Hope. So I looked up the words we have be using a lot over the past 2 1/2 months:

Faith & Hope.

What is Faith?

a strong belief in a supernatural power or powers that control human destiny

complete confidence in a person

loyalty or allegiance to a cause or a person; "keep the faith"

What is Hope?

optimisim

the general feeling that some desire will be fulfilled

a desire for something to happen, while expecting or being confident that it will come true

Hope also implies a certain amount of perseverance, believing that something is possible even when there is some evidence to the contrary. Hope may be directed toward something minor or towards something extremely significant.

Thursday – October 17th

We had our appointment with Dr. Blake today. It was a bad day. He reconfirmed our Angels condition. I was okay on Monday at Dr. Cousins. But, WE were together the whole day, before and after the appointment! Today we both had to work. SO we drove separately to Dr. Blake's office. Glenn was about 30 minutes late to the appointment because he went to Dr. Melin’s office by mistake. We had to go into the same Ultrasound Room that we were diagnosed originally. But, I had to go in the room before Glenn got there, and that was really hard. After that we had to drive back to work separately. He was driving behind me, I was deep in my thoughts, I missed an exit, we were separated on the freeway, and I lost it. Driving and crying on some road. Glenn was on some other road in the same town. We were on the phone with each other, and my sweet Glenn told me to pull over and was trying to calm me down.

Tuesday – October 25th

8:30pm… I am having some CRAZY MOVEMENTS IN MY BELLY. I also think I had a foot jabbing at my bellybutton all day. OW, but FUN! Still moving at 8:35pm

This is not the normal THUMPITY-THUMP-THUMP. It is SQUIRMMY, rolling earthquake. What a fun day in pregnancy. Exciting and New!!! Is she/he trying to tell me something?

Saturday – October 29th

I went shopping today. I did not have a good time at all! I was quite sad actually. I went to Old Navy, Ross & Target. I bought nothing and came home without going to Michael’s, and Babies R Us, For Becky’s Baby Shower. I just had no fun shopping by myself. I talked to Glenn about it. I think I mostly missed doing those errands with him. He is working a lot now.

We had dinner with Grandma & Aunt Nancy. Grandma knitted "Our Angel" a blanket. I am so happy about that. When I opened it, I thought… I’m going to sleep with this! And Glenn told me he thought, "She is going to sleep with that". I did use it when we were on the couch later. But, I did not sleep with it.

We did go shopping to try to find a few more shirts for me. But, Nordstrom Rack (no maternity), and Loehmann’s (no maternity). Glenn found some pants and shoes. We also went to Bed Bath & Beyond to find a Body Pillow. We found one. I love it.

Sunday – October 30th

We invited the families over for our famous burritos. Then we had a family project. My Halloween Costume, a belly painting. It was a lot of fun. I’m not sure, but I think it made the family feel closer to "Our Angel".

Monday – October 31st

I saw Dr. Melin today. I took “My lil’ Punnkin”. Punnkin had a very strong heartbeat and is growing “right on track”. I don’t really know what to say about each visit. I feel like I know so much about what is going to happen… and yet I know so very little. I guess things are so different when I know that we are coming home, without "Our Angel".

WHEN will I go into labor?

HOW LONG will Our Angel live?

WILL we be able to help another baby?

HOW will she/he look?

WHO will she/he look like?

WHAT will we name her/him?

HOW will we feel when we leave the hospital?

HOW will we feel when we come home?

OUR BIRTH PLAN...

read about our requests for our Angel's Birthday...

NOVEMBER...

find out about... the weeks and days before and after "Our Angel" was born...